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So, Wicked has finally had it’s opening night at the Apollo Victoria. This is the theatre where we saw Movin’ Out, and apparently they’ve turned it into the Emerald City. Its a beautiful art deco ex-cinema, which I felt wasn’t a total success as a theatre, (some poor sightlines and it felt huge), but perhaps it needs the big spectacle, and from all accounts, Wicked is certainly that.

Predictably the reviews are ‘mixed’. It’s clearly going to be a popular, rather than a critical, success. I watched them discussing it on Newsnight Review (the only bit of Newsnight I ever watch) and most of them were far too ‘arty’ and ‘sophisticated’ to enjoy a Broadway musical. A couple had enjoyed it unashamedly, and it was said ‘the public will love it’, but in the ‘what do they know’ tone of voice. It reminded me of Uni, and why, for a time, I stopped going to musicals, which I’d loved my whole life, as they were seen as so deeply uncool and as theatre for the tourists and out of town coach parties. Theatre was only good if it was weird. As I said before, theatre should challenge, and doesn’t always have to be comfortable, but let’s also celebrate the sheer enjoyment that such huge shows bring. If I was choosing between a musical and a Sarah Kane play, or even, God help me, Pinter, I’d take the musical every time. I’m reminded of the critical opinion on Les Mis when that premiered 21 years ago, when there was a lot of negativity, and questions about whether this was what the RSC should be doing.

One comment was that maybe you have to love the Wizard of Oz to get it. It did amuse me when someone said they couldn’t get excited about a piece of theatre that was about witches and wizards rather than real life. Well, sorry, but that’s exactly the kind of theatre that excites me.

Have a nice life

Someone actually said that to me yesterday! Yes, I finally left work last night. Well, it’s only been one month beyond my leaving date, but bizarrely I didn’t know I was finishing until Monday of this week, so it was still a bit unexpected. By yesterday, however, it felt right, like it was time to go.

I got presents; jewellery, wine, and things with cats on. To be fair, I will miss some of it, (though I am actually struggling to think which bits), I just won’t miss the driving, or the M62 in winter.

It’s strange. You work with people for a period of time, seeing them almost daily, and then, when you leave a job, there’s every possibility that you’ll never see them again, particularly if like me you were working a considerable distance away from home. It’s not like I’m going to run into any of them in Tescos, after all. What you have in common is the job, and the company politics, and then suddenly once you're not part of that any more the connection is broken.

I'd say they don't really know me, but I guess they do a little, looking at my presents, but they don't know what really makes me tick. And I've worked there for 19 months, and never mentioned Griffin once*. I've mentioned Foxy a couple of times, but I think I got away with it!

*It's amazing how much 'I'm going to a gig' can cover, but then there haven't been many of those in the last 12 months.

'I believe theatre should be dangerous'

I'm in the first half hour of my new drama workshop evening class, and the tutor is talking about performance. She's a big fan of Brecht and Boal rather than Stanislavski*, and I'm loving listening to someone talk with passion about theatre, and I know that I'm smiling and nodding. I so agree - theatre has to challenge and confront and push at the boundaries.

I didn't know what to expect when signing up for this class, as drama classes are notoriously a bit of a 'mxed bag', but there are 8 of us, 5 women and 3 men, aged, I guess, from late 20's up to 50's. We go round the table, and say what experience we have and our reasons for being here. 3 of us seem to have done significant amounts of drama and acting before, two have done a little, and 3 are absolute beginners. The tutor tells us that she prefers to work with 'raw talent', so, in the 'what have you done' round up, when I say that I have a degree in theatre, film and television, I feel I'm getting the 'why are you here?' look. This is enough to make me feel a little intimidated, and I try to stay in the background for the rest of the session.

We have to fill out our 'learning objectives' and I put down that one of mine is to re-build my confidence in performance. My acting has rather fallen by the wayside since Uni, I've done a couple of pieces with a friend, and a few workshops but nothing more, and I'm dying to do some practical work again. When she mentions a new RSC certificate in Shakespearean Performance, I think I'm beaming!

In the second half of the session, we start with the trust games, to breakdown the barriers with others in the group. We work in pairs, and have to feel each others hands, and then, with eyes closed, have to find our partner just by touch of hands. We have to greet each other in various forms, shaking hands, by hugging, and rubbing noses. We do the trust exercise where one person leans back and trusts that their partner will support them. It's a little scary, but I love it.

Later, I get into my friend's car, waxing lyrical about theatre and drama, and just how much I've missed it, and I'm talking with my hands. It is physically impossible to talk about theatre without using your hands!

*I'm more of a 'Stan' girl myself.

Reader, I married him*

The new BBC serialisation of Jane Eyre started last night. 4 weeks of sheer indulgence (and a bit of hiding behind cushions from the mad woman**). So, in celebration of this fact, Cat, Corinne and I took ourselves off yesterday afternoon to Belton House near Grantham, which was used for the scenes at Gateshead Hall.

It was a gorgeous afternoon, and the house was fascinating, beautifully light and airy, with a wonderful elegance, apart from the tv connections (it was also used as 'Rosings' in Pride and Prejudice), and we spent a lovely afternoon wandering through the house and grounds, and sampling the restaurant and gift shop.

The best bit, however, was the 'dressing up' room. You know how I love a big frock! Now it's frequently a bone of contention with me that they focus on children for dressing up opportunities***, but here was different. Not just a couple of dresses, but a whole rail, and not just fairly tatty costumes but ones with boning, and bustles, and proper underwear. Well, petticoats, and crinolines, it would have perhaps been a bit much to go as far as corsets!

And that was it, we were in there, much to the bemusement of some of the other visitors, but with the assistance of the very helpful attendant. Despite all my time working in costume, I'd never worn a crinoline before, and it was a revelation, the way it swung, and seemed to float around you, rather than the much heavier full petticoats. I was thrilled to find that I could actually get into one of the dresses, as I'd sort of resigned myself to being dresser and photographer - and I liked the colour too.

Of course, having got these dresses on, we didn't want to take them off, and the poor attendant was eventually packing up around us. But they have missed a trick in then not letting you wander the house 'in costume' as that would give a truly authentic feel (although it's probably against health and safety - grrr!).

Wonderful *sigh*

**seriously, she's scarier than a dalek!
*There just didn't seem to be a better title for this, even though it's ripping off the title of the current BBCFour Documentary on romantic fiction.
***and don't even get me started on why the Disney Store doesn't do Disney Princess dresses in adult sizes!!

Giving Notes

The scene: a theatre bar in the Potteries. We're discussing the opening night of the production of Jekyll and Hyde, the Musical, which we've just seen, with T, the director, and being generally very complimentary about the production and the performances*. I've already knocked back one glass of wine post show, and am starting into my second, so I'm very happy to offer my opinions.

T: (clearly a little concerned) but what did you think of the father's wig in Scene 1?
Me: (he knows I'm a theatre snob, he wants me to honest here!) Sorry, but it reminded me of Peter Sellers playing Richard III.
T: Yes! (dashes off to tell someone they have to change the wig before the second night)

Later

We're standing at same theatre bar and the opening bars of Blood Brothers waft across the space. Someone behind the bar has decided to play the soundtrack cd. We turn and exchange a look with T. And, for a few seconds, we're sharing the memories of the highs and lows of last autumn**.

*but not the show itself, as it's not the greatest musical in the world, and has only one memorable song, 'This is the Moment'.

**which included a great deal of alcohol, a few hangovers, hugs and tears, a fair bit of name calling, and a little bit of magic.

Lost in a good book

Talking of bandwagons, which of course, I wasn't, I'd just like to say that I was always going to blog about LibraryThing even though Corinne and Nik have also talked about it. I don't think Cat realised what she had started when she put us onto it. But then, given the way we all are about books, maybe she did.

Anyway, I spent quite a bit of time at the weekend going through some of my bookshelves, digging out books I'd forgotten. Do others have 'double' bookshelves, with one row of books in front of another, or is it just me? I have books tucked behind books that I probably haven't looked at for years, yet I want to keep them. It was only when I hit 200 in my catalogue that I found out that that was the limit to a free account (as yet, I'm too tight to pay to add more) - and I haven't gone through the half of them yet. I remember when I bought my first house, the one thing that my mum rejoiced about was that she would finally get rid of all my books.

So far I've been pretty selective with my 'star rating'. Very few books get 5 stars, and when I look at those that do, I realise that, in a couple of cases, it's because I've seen a brilliant stage production, rather than because of the book itself. But then, it's my list, and I can grade it as I like.

The other thing that it highlights is that I've always read. Books on the list go all the way back to my childhood, and for as long as I can remember I will happily settle down with a book and the world can pass me by. Or at least, that's my argument for not doing housework!

The other thing, and Corinne has mentioned this too, is what it says about me. All my interests are there. Shakespeare (is 3 copies of the Complete Works too many?), theatre, play texts, novels that I call 19th Century 'classics', history, fantasy, sci fi, and slushy romances.

Sounds about right to me!

Equality has a long way to go

Scene 1

An office. The saga of the laptop continues. I asked the question, 'How's my laptop?' more in hope than in expectation.However, the answer was unexpected.
'Ah, well, you didn't need one that good, so we've decided N should have that one. We've found you a 'ladies' laptop'.
Me: (in what even I would describe as a 'dangerous' tone) 'What? I really don't think you want to say that to me.'
Said laptop is produced. It is second hand, has been gathering dust for a few months, and is the size of a note pad. It is useless. 'How do you think I'm going to use that?' (I'm angry, but also close to tears, which are partly frustration at the fact I'm getting nowhere)
'What do you mean? It's a ladies laptop - look, it will go in your handbag'.
I know in my head that I'm being fobbed off here. And it isn't even working yet.

Scene 2

A pub. I'm sitting on my own, clutching a glass of wine, and feeling conspicuous. I find I'm doing this more frequently these days, as I'm away quite a lot with work, and this means I usually have to eat alone. I still feel that a woman alone in a pub looks odd, in a way that a man never does. Perhaps it's the fact that the pub remains, in my eyes, a 'blokey' environment, in a way that a wine bar doesn't. I know these are my issues, but I guess I hate how vulnerable it makes me feel.

In this pub, there's a line of blokes standing at the bar. I wait patiently to get served, and am pretty much ignored, until one of them rather than the bar staff notices that I was before him, and points me out. I spot a little cubby hole where I can sit, and quickly claim it. I try to be a grown up, but I still find I'm getting out my work file, and scribbling notes, and the playing with my phone. Anything to look busy, and create an illusion of confidence.

A thing of beauty

A while ago I mentioned that I needed ruby slippers. Well, I've been looking round the shops as they get their party season ranges in, and there have been lots of sparkly shoes - black, silver, gold, pink, and some red. But none were the perfect pair. Not flat ballet pumps, as I can't do flat shoes, and not so high I can't walk in them. Whilst these are 'theatre going' shoes, our theatre going can involve quite a bit of walking* or, at the very least, a lot of standing in bars, so I needed a degree of comfort. And I'd seen these in Outfit last weekend, so went to have a look in Dorothy Perkins in town yesterday. Well, I say I went, in actual fact, I never got beyond the jewellery counter, and it was Cat who reported they didn't have them. So today, I was back at Outfit - yes they had them, and they were the last pair! Apparently they have different ranges of shoes in each shop - go figure!

So, I now have my ruby slippers, what I need are the theatre tickets. The West Yorkshire Playhouse are doing The Wizard of Oz this Christmas. They're even doing 'Off to Oz' nights, when you can go dressed as your favourite character. No guesses as to who's mine, but the clue is, she's green! And Wicked is now previewing in the West End, and it sounds fabulous.

*I have blisters from our walk across town on Friday night when I was wearing my other 'glitter shoes', and yes, at one point I did get one stuck in a hole in the road, and it fell off. Though it wasn't as bad as when I wore my red shoes in Oxford.

Staples

No, not the sort that hold pages together! As I stopped at the petrol station tonight I pondered on a lifestyle where I don't actually have time to do any 'real' shopping mid-week, and therefore end up either in the petrol station mini market, or in a quick supermarket dash, buying my essential supplies, which are bread, wine, and cat food, which is a bit like the last supper really, (and, let's face it, I've seen quite a few of those*) if Jesus had had a cat**. That shopping list caters for everyone after a day at work, I think. The girls eat, I eat, and I get to drink wine.

I frequently find myself having to go out for emergency cat food supplies. For reference, even the shop at York Railway Station sells cat food, so there are clearly others like me who get off the train, and realise that they need to stock up.

*Even if, at times, Jesus's body was a naan bread (with apologies to anyone not familiar with JCS)
**well, we don't know he didn't have one, do we?!

More battles with technology

I was given a brand new flashy laptop yesterday by work! Very exciting. Of course, I couldn't get it to work, and couldn't fix the remote mouse (I can't cope with those little pad thingys that laptops have)

So, today I went in to work, all ready to get it fixed. Firstly it turns out that what I thought was a memory stick (it looks like a memory stick and you put into a USB port, I thought they were just being generous) is actually the arial thingy for the mouse, So that worked.

Then IT took it over. And proceeded to rant at me about how, of course, I can't possibly use it for internet and email, as I might pick up a virus, and anyway, I can't have it yet, as they have to load stuff. At which point I was blinded with science and ranted back. 'You mean I can use it like an oversized memory stick to save my work on, and that's about it'

Later in the day

'Have you got your new laptop?' (red rag to a bull)
Me: (in 'not a happy bunny tone') 'No, apparently it hasn't got everything loaded, and still hasn't got Word on it. Apparently it had to be stripped down'
'Well, you see, your computer's like a brick wall. It's going to be taken back down, and even the plaster taken off. Then it will be re-plastered, but we'll add a lick of paint as well'

Now, that, I understand!

The end of summer

Well, it feels like it. I went into town yesterday morning and it started to pour down. Lots of people walking around drenched, and even though I had my umbrella I got pretty wet. Whatever happened to the hot August that we’d been promised? I hate this ‘turn of the seasons’ time, when there starts to be a chill in the air, and the nights are closing in. Time for comfort shopping* and comfort food.

But this year, it’s also a time of new opportunities. I finished one of my jobs on Friday. Only I didn’t. I’m no longer employed there, but I’m still going in for a few days to hand things over. And then, what? I actually don’t know, apart from one day a week that I’ll actually be employed for. I should have spent some of the last three months working out what I want to do next, but I haven’t. My excuse is time, and there’s certainly been very little of that, with the combination of work, and quick dashes to London, and Edinburgh, but in reality I think it’s partly because it’s very scary to even think about it.

And so that’s what I have to look to now, finding out what I want to do, and then finding if it’s out there. I know that 7 years ago when I went to University I was looking for a complete change, and whilst that partly happened for a while, I did drift back into doing what I’d done before, for reasons that were, if I’m honest, mainly financial. I therefore dropped most of my theatre, and I miss it desperately, but finding anything in theatre that actually pays you is incredibly difficult. Last time, having no job** was such a shock that I think I was still reeling from that when I accepted this job. It was never going to be ideal, with a 90 mile trip each day to get there and back, and, at least this time, leaving is my choice . I just have to sort out now when I actually finish.

*In my case, 3 books, 3 dvds, and 1 cd!
** just in case anyone was wondering, I was made redundant