Confessions of a Theatre Snob

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Post walk post-mortem

‘Did you enjoy the walk on Sunday?’

The rant starts. About the pace, about the fact that we saw a shop, and a couple of pubs, but never got the chance to test them out.

‘That walk was a doddle. You didn’t get left behind, did you? We’ll soon get you fit!’

What he doesn’t seem to grasp is that, for me, I am fit, or, as fit as I’m ever likely to be. I’ve heard this so many times in the past, though it must be said, not recently. It’s the same as the incredulous looks you get when you say that you don’t like sport, and more specifically, certainly don’t want to play any sport. How can anyone actually think that, the look seems to say, it must just be a case of finding the ‘right’ sport.

I try again. ‘I am fit. And you’re missing the point. I don’t want to walk like that. I want to stop, to take photos, to pop into a shop and a café if I feel like it. I’ll still walk, but there’ll be things to enjoy’.

I can see he doesn’t get it. Later on there is talk of badminton. ‘What about you, will you play?’

I give him a look.

‘Ah!’

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A Tale of Two Walks

I did a lot of walking at the weekend. Two separate walks, one with the ladies walking group, and one with Spice. I'll let you to decide which one suited me more

Walk 1

‘I think I’ve successfully subverted you’

We’re sitting in a tea shop in Helmsley, our second of the day. We’ve just completed the 6 miles from Helmsley to Rievaulx and back, the return being in almost unremitting rain. The rain has soaked us through in a way which isn’t particularly attractive. However, we have agreed that we’re intrepid, as it no longer phases us, (‘well, we either have to walk back, or stay here’), we’re planning future events, which, it has to be said, revolve around food, as well as walking.

I explain. ‘When we started walking, and I said I was going shopping at the end of the walk, you all gave me funny looks. Now, we always fit in tea shops, and also other shops’.

I find myself explaining the concept of the Handbag Walker. They all agree that it is an untapped market, and that there are a lot of people just like us who want to walk, but who are not serious walkers. Who just want to take their time, look round, take photos, stop when they feel like it, or when there is a convenient shop, tea room or pub. We get the exercise, but it’s fun.

Walk 2

‘The most important thing to have brought with you on a Spice Walk is your sense of humour’.

I always worry when someone says that, as it usually means that they don’t have one.

It was with some trepidation that J and I signed up for our first Spice walk a few weeks ago. Ever since I joined, I’ve looked at their walks and thought that they were too ‘serious’ for me. They class 10 miles and more, with hills, as ‘moderate’. But I’d spoken to a few people, and they’d said that they weren’t too difficult, so when I saw a Grade 4 (‘easy’) walk of 7 miles without hills advertised, I decided it was time to sign up and give it a go.

It started from a car park in Wetherby. We didn’t make a great beginning, by nearly joining the wrong walk. We’d gathered with the group going on the Wetherby Civic Walk. It was the number of handbags which gave it away. Later there were a few times we wished we’d stuck with them.

I think I knew from the start really. By the time we were crossing the road out of the car park, we were at the back of the bunch. It was very hard going, and tailored more to the walking speed of the men, which, given at least 75% of us were women, didn’t seem quite right. The pace didn’t slacken as we walked down the track of a disused railway. It was pretty, but there was no time to stop and take photos. First we walked across to Stockeld Park, which had just opened it’s Christmas World. But no, we couldn’t stop.

I asked the leader if I could have a look at the map, so that I could see where we were walking. Not only was there an attitude which suggested surprise that I could read a map, but an almost allergic reaction to my purple and silver sparkly nail varnish.

Eventually, we reached Sicklinghall, by the village pond.

‘We’re breaking for lunch now. You can eat your sandwiches here. There is a pub up the road, which also has a shop. We have half an hour.’

J and I were off, to the pub, which proved to be quite a distance (‘that’s just added another half mile’), so that we only had time for a drink, and no food. We were both knackered by this point.

Continuing after lunch (a packet of crisps in my case), my pace slackened, as I just couldn’t keep it up. By the end, I had given up any pretence of enjoyment, and had got progressively more subversive as it went on. We couldn’t wait to see the car park.

Having passed yet another pub (where we didn’t stop), and a Spa Hotel which was offering afternoon tea, when we finally saw the tea room at the entrance to the car park, we were off, sending a message that we’d gone.

It was advertised as 7 miles. Given that we know our average walking speed, and that the pace was faster than we’d normally walk, I’d say it was more like 9. I ached more than I did after the Ribbon Walk.

Unfortunately, we have already booked another one, in a couple of week’s time. I’m already worried.

I leave it to you to judge which of the walks was more ‘me’.

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Monday, October 19, 2009

On underplaying things

‘Where’s ‘wibbly-wobbly gate’? Dean asks, ‘the one on the postcards’.

‘You mean Whip-Ma-Whop-Ma-Gate’ I reply. ‘I’ll take you there’.

So on Sunday, as we’re in town I decide to include it in the tour, warning ‘don’t get your hopes up’. I smile to myself, as I sort of know what’s coming.

We walk down Colliergate, and I pause at the end. ‘Are you ready?’ and I step forward, ‘there’.

Dean looks around ‘what?’

‘Here we are’. I point to some junction markings a few yards ahead. ‘From here, to that junction. That’s Whip-Ma-Whop-Ma-Gate’. I also point to the frankly tatty road sign proclaiming the name. It consists of a concrete building to the left, and a shop and church hall to the right.

His face is a picture. I can almost see the rant forming. ‘They should have called it don’t-bother-Gate’. I can't help but laugh.

‘Are you sure you don’t want a photo with the street sign?’

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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

On eating out

Owing to needing to regularly stay over for work, I get to eat out a lot in Liverpool, probably more than I do in York. Hope Street has become a bit of a favourite. It’s got a cathedral at each end, a theatre*, a concert hall, a rather swish hotel, numerous restaurants and a rather elaborate pub. It’s also very close to the University, so is full of student and arty types. I guess you could say I feel at home there.

We’re trying all the various restaurants as we go along, and particular new favourite is HoSt, which does ‘fusion’ food. We had a fabulous meal there the other week, and it has to be admitted, the staff are both very attentive, and very cute, which is an added bonus.

I tend to sign up for emails at the various restaurants, so that I receive their special offers. As we usually eat out mid-week, there are often some good deals available.

So when I received an offer from HoSt, we agreed that we must go again, and started to discuss the food, waxing lyrical about the food, and specifically the corn fritters with chilli caramel (honestly, they’re divine!).

C reflects, ‘I must try and work out how to make them, it can’t be that difficult’

I smile. ‘That’s one of the differences between us. You think about making things you’ve eaten in a restaurant at home. I just think ‘when can I go again?’

*A theatre which we keep saying we must go to, only it continuously seems to be performing Pinter!

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Monday, October 12, 2009

I know it's a little early to be thinking of the tour, however...

You may recall that I went to see the Strictly Live Tour *cough* three times *cough* earlier this year. I did wonder if I would want to see the next tour, and mused that it would depend if someone caught my eye in the current series.

Today, I was looking on the website, mainly to see when the DVD is out (on my Christmas list, people), and clicked on the link for the 2010 tour, just to see if any names were there as yet, but thinking it was far too early in the season. Also, I still don’t have a favourite.

Looking at who’s there already, I think I may just have been swayed. Austin Healey, another great dancer who didn’t make the final and… Mark Ramprakash!

Now, where's that credit card...?

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I've got a ticket for Mecca Bingo, baby!

Yes, hard to believe isn’t it, but it’s true, I’m now a member of Mecca Bingo. With irony, of course. We’ve talked for a long time about going, given it’s at the end of J’s street, but it took a sub-Spice* trip to actually get us there.

8 of us piled in at about quarter to 7 on a Sunday evening. I think I was a bit over dressed. Nothing new there then.

‘Are any of you members?’ asked the lady on the desk, to be met with a negative. 8 bingo virgins was clearly a concept she struggled with, and she had to call for her manager.

Next thing we knew, Rob had appeared. I have to say he knew his job, and in the time it took to get us signed on, upstairs, and to the tills, he’d managed to extract £14 from each of us for an evening’s games. All we’d got for this was a ‘dabber’. He then proceeded to rattle through how the games worked. Now, I thought it was just about getting a line, and shouting. Oh no! If you don’t shout before the next number is called, you’ve lost your chance. It also seemed that you play about 5 cards at once. It all felt a bit much for my numerically challenged brain!

We found some seats at the edge of the room, and quickly discovered that bingo is not a particularly sociable activity, as you can’t chat whilst a game is being played. In fact, you can’t do much else than keep your eyes on the cards, scanning the numbers and trying to keep up. It didn’t help that one of the callers had a bit of a speech impediment**, so sometimes wasn’t very clear.

By the first break, none of us had won a thing. You’d think with 8 of us, and so many cards between us, we’d have had a bit of beginners luck, but no.

By the second break, still without success, it was starting to get old very quickly. Having had two (admittedly cheap) drinks, I was starting to think about what else I could have bought with my £20. I would never make a gambler, as I hate not getting anything back for my money.

By the end of the evening, not one of us had won a thing. I think you can assume we won’t be rushing back, even though my membership card has now arrived in the post!

* I tend to refer to them as ‘subversive Spice’, so this is their new name on here
**You’d think clear speech would be part of the job spec!

Monday, October 05, 2009

Where I discover once again that I don't have a lot in common with the people I work with

I did a lot of interviewing last week. 3 days of it. Some candidates didn’t turn up, and didn’t have the courtesy to let us know they weren’t coming, so there was some hanging around waiting, and making conversation with colleagues. The thing about work is that usually we’re so busy, we don’t actually talk to each other, not about anything other than work that is.

At one point, I find myself chatting to our medical director, who tells me that he was in Stratford last week, and went to the theatre. At least he knows enough about me to know I like theatre.

‘Oh, what did you see?’
‘As You Like It.’
‘What did you think?’

‘I really liked the theatre. As for the play, well, I have seen it before, many years ago, but I did find it hard going, trying to work out what they were saying.
We left at the interval’

I can’t actually say anything, as I’m gaping rather.

‘Well, I look at it this way. I’d enjoyed it up to that point, and felt that I’d seen enough. If I’d have stayed, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it so much. And, after all, I have seen it before.’

‘I have my shocked face on, don’t I?’

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Friday, October 02, 2009

'Just learn your lines and don't bump into the furniture'

After months of working towards it, we actually performed ‘the play’ to the paying public last weekend. Whilst we have rehearsed over a long period, the rehearsals have been very occasional, only every other week or so, up to the last month. It’s not enough, and by a couple of weeks before I was feeling very under-rehearsed.

Our ‘dress’ had been more of a technical rehearsal, but had also demonstrated that quite a lot of us were shaky on lines. We planned a pre-performance speed run, which also had quite a few problems, with K and I totally drying in our first scene together. I have some very quick costume changes – of character and of time period – from 1913 to 1951 and back again in the space of a scene change, and until the day of the performance I hadn’t been able to rehearse with full costume and props.

All went ok until the middle of Act 2.

I start Act 2 as ‘Shirley’, 1950’s bar maid, complete with tight skirt and red stilettos. I finish that scene, and almost immediately come back on as 1913 suffragette. As I dashed back on, E hissed ‘in the performance, can you remember to change your shoes!’ I looked down to realise that my suffragette was very visibly still wearing the bar maid’s red shoes.

As the audience began to fill the seats, we hoped they were feeling generous, as it was quite a nervous cast who gathered ‘back stage’*. It was a relief to see that we had a full audience, as weather was lovely, and we had picked up some of the day visitors.

As it turned out, the performance went much better than the run through. There were a few shaky moments, where people were reaching for lines, and apparently two pages were missed out of one scene, but as the rest of the cast didn’t spot it, I doubt that audience did. In one scene the actor playing opposite me and I swapped lines, but we got through it.

It ran much more quickly than we’d expected, as we'd never managed a full run without stopping before, and very quickly, we were at the last scene, and then the curtain call. As we stood waiting to go back on, one of my fellow cast members whispered ‘this is my favourite bit’.
‘What?’
‘The end. It means we’ve got through it!’

I knew how she felt. I know it still needs a lot of work, I know we (I) could be so much better, but I also remember how terrifying, and how exhilarating, performance is, and why I love it so.

Here’s to the next performance, in a little over two weeks time. Now, where did I put those lines?

*Given that we were performing in a medieval castle, there wasn’t actually a backstage area

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The start of the Strictly season

Summer is over, there are a few golden days with clear blue skies but there’s already a distinct nip in the air up north. Nights are drawing in, so it’s time to snuggle down on the sofa with Strictly on a Saturday night, and It Takes Two during the week.

Only this year, it’s a bit different. They started with two weekly shows, on a Friday and Saturday evening, allowing all the contestants to dance ballroom and Latin before there is a vote. This seems fair to me, as many people, particularly in the early stages, are better at one style (or, rubbish at both!). They’ve also ditched the Sunday night results show, which I’m pleased about, as I never liked it, though it does now mean that the time scale for voting is pretty short – no chance to influence what happens to your favourite if you happen to be out during the show. At least they don’t have to remember to pretend that people danced ‘last night’ any more, and no one can spoil the result for you, as long as you can watch it live (which I haven’t managed to do as yet!).

The biggest controversy, of course, is the replacement of Arlene with Alesha. Now, I like Alesha, and she was a worthy winner, but she hardly has the dance credentials to pass judgement on others. Sadly this has been all too obvious so far, and I’m not sure her presence on the panel will do her, or the show, much good.

We also have some new female dancers. Camilla was ‘retiring’ anyway after winning, but Karen has also gone (and would, I think, have made a good judge, from her comments on ITT) as well as the unlamented Hayley who danced last season. The ‘new girls’ remind me of the over tanned, and over made up, partners on DWTS, the American version of the show.

We’ve seen everyone dance now, and so far I don’t really have a favourite. For the first couple of weeks, everyone looks so terrified that it’s difficult to see how they will develop. There is some talent there, but I haven’t singled anyone out. Chris Hollins surprised me, in actually being quite good, and funny, Phil Tufnell also surprised with an elegant waltz, and they actually seem to have given Anton a partner who can dance this year, in Laila Rouass. They’ve given Brendan Jo Wood, who can’t, and won’t be there for long.

Despite all the claims that ‘this is the most challenging Strictly yet’, so far it doesn’t look like a vintage season. But it’s early days.

Watch this space.

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