Confessions of a Theatre Snob

Friday, February 26, 2010

A Big Frock

We’ve all done those ‘icebreaker’ games at training courses, right? The sort of things which make some people cringe with embarrassment. We’ve been having a couple of ‘awaydays’ from work recently, so it was decided that we needed one of these at the start of each day to warm things up, and to get to know a bit more about each other.

This week, we were all asked to draw something which represented our personality, and then we would all look at the drawings and try and decide who each one belonged to.

I tried to decide what to draw. A theatre would be too obvious. I settled on a big sparkly frock.

Setting aside that artistic ability doesn’t seem to be one of our strong points, it was quite interesting to see what people had drawn. Many had drawn stick people representing partners and family, whilst others had focussed on interests, music, golf, bird watching. Some people were very obvious, others more difficult to guess.

One drawing was of what I took to be a pig’s head*, (though others took it to be a cat), and a skull and cross bones.

‘I think that’s Val’
‘I think it’s Val too, she’s just playing it cool’
‘Why? Do you think I’m into piracy?’**
‘It’s your Gothic side coming out’

Then the frock drawing was displayed

‘No, I think that’s Val’
‘Yes, I do, it’s the drama’
‘What is it?’

I acknowledge ownership. ‘It’s a big frock’. Some of them look a little puzzled. ‘I believe life is better in a big sparkly frock’

‘I bet you like Gone With The Wind too, don’t you?’

*Turns out it was a teddy bear
**Yes, I know we once planned to sail a boat to Falkirk, and I have dressed as a pirate, but they don’t know that

Labels: ,

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Overheard in a theatre bar

I’m waiting to be served, and eyeing up a piece of ginger cake (which confirms that the diet is so far going nowhere fast), when I casually tune in to the conversation in front of me. It seems the server has recognised the customer

‘Hello, do you remember me, we were in Titus Andronicus together?’
‘Oh yes, I was Saturninus, the Roman Emperor, and you were...?’
‘I was one of Tamora’s son’s…I ended up in a pie’

When it’s my turn he sees I’m smiling at the conversation.
‘You don’t hear a conversation about Titus Andronicus very often’, I say.
‘Did you see it?’ he asks. He has that look of an actor who's thinking they might get a bit of praise. I guess it’s a reasonable expectation, given how infrequently it's performed. I know I’m going to disappoint him, and out myself as a theatre snob in the same sentence.
‘No, I saw it at the Globe, it was one of the plays I still had to tick off on my list’.

Labels: ,

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Cleveland Way - Part 2

We did the second stage* of the Cleveland Way on Saturday. It was eventful. Firstly, we were quite late setting off. Are the timings of ‘serious’ walkers affected by hairdresser appointments? Well, those of handbag walkers are.

Two new haircuts later, the three of us set off in the early afternoon heading for Rievaulx and Cold Kirby. It was probably a mistake to rely on V’s satnav to get us there, as initially it didn’t seem to recognise Cold Kirby as a place, and wanted to send us towards Harrogate. When I entered Rievaulx as an alternative, it took us via some winding back lanes. I kept reverting to the map to check if there was a better way, and ended up ignoring it completely. It also got foggier and foggier the closer we came to our destination.

Eventually we got there, and we all piled into one car to head to Rievaulx as our starting point. At this point I realised I’d forgotten my socks, and my pashmina. We parked at Rievaulx amongst horse boxes, and started our route, initially along a road.

We hadn’t gone far before we encountered The Turkey, in the middle of the road. A big, very scary, bird, which had somehow escaped Christmas, and wasn’t going to let us past easily. I tried to hide behind J, but she would insist on taking a photo of it, which only attracted its attention.

The others got past. I couldn’t, and for a few moments thought I would have to go back to the car. Eventually, as it clearly wasn’t going anywhere, I climbed over the fence into a field, and gave it a very wide berth, all the time checking to see if it was coming after me. I finally managed to rejoin the others two field later by scrambling through the hedge. I was a bit shaken.

After that, the walk took us through a valley, which we all agreed would be lovely in better weather. About this point, J wondered if she’d left her car keys in the other car.

‘Well, I’m not going back past that rampant turkey’. Thankfully, a quick check revealed they were in her rucksack.

The walk up the valley side was tiring, and then the final stage across open field, with the view obscured by the fog, just made me long for a cup of tea.

We reached the car in Cold Kirby having only done about 4 miles, but we were pretty tired, and looking forward to cake. As it was getting late, we headed for Sutton Bank Visitor Centre for the nearest tea shop, only to find that it had closed 20 minutes earlier. Have they no thought for handbag walkers?

There was no option for it but to head back to Helmsley, and the patisserie tea shop in the Black Swan Hotel. With mud on our boots, we weren’t exactly dressed for it, but they didn’t seem to mind. And the tea and cakes there are lovely.

I’m really not sure how we are going to manage when we have to walk the long barren stretches of moorland.

*This is our second stage. We have yet to complete the recommended first day of walking in the official trail guide

Labels: ,

Friday, February 05, 2010

Angry

You remember I was going to get an iPhone? Well, I’d decided to go and sort this today, as it would have been just too distracting to get it midweek when I was supposed to be working. I was looking forward to having the weekend to play with it.

I went into town specially. In the Vodaphone shop, I spoke to an assistant who looked and sounded like she’d rather be somewhere else. I explained I wanted to upgrade, and had been told I could do so from the end of January.

She tapped in my number. ‘When did you enquire about an upgrade?’
‘About 2 weeks ago, I was told I could upgrade 90 days before the end of my contract’.
‘Yes, you could. Only this Monday, it was changed to 50 days’.

I must have looked a bit dumbfounded. ‘What?’ (What she doesn’t realise is that this is my ‘dangerous’/scary tone)
‘You won’t be able to upgrade until the end of Feb’. By way of explanation ‘they sometimes do this without telling us’.
'So if I'd have come in last weekend, I could have got one?'
'Probably'

I’m seriously not impressed, and actually quite angry at being denied my new ‘toy’. ‘I’m not at all happy about this’. I think if she could have got away with shrugging her shoulders, she would.

But what do you do. No point ranting any more in the shop – though I was quite loud in my displeasure.

I bought chocolate (see, even my diet has suffered). And came home and sent a strongly worded email to Vodaphone.

And blogged about it.

Labels: ,

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I guess a 4 line nursery rhyme gives plenty of scope

It was the last night of York Panto on Saturday. This year, it was Humpty Dumpty. Not that it mattered, as there was no discernable plot. We had Snow White in there, complete with 7 penguins rather than dwarves (Snow, geddit?), Old King Cole, and Young King Cole, who was, of course, called ‘Nat’, and Simple Simon, and a baddie called Eggula. And of course, Humpty himself, who emerged from the egg.

We had the usual company of actors, Berwick (31 years and counting*), David (yes, still got it), Martin, Suzy, Vince. A few new recruits too among the dancers, including David’s 19 year old daughter. As I remember her running round as a toddler on last night, I felt old. There was possibly the campest panto chorus I’ve ever seen. (All dressed as Superheroes, below, for no particular reason)
This year, I didn’t get to see it before last night, so it was all new to me – though many of the jokes, and the slosh scene, were distinctly recycled. But that’s the joy of it, and that’s why we come back year after year. When it got to the songsheet, it’s usually ‘girls and boys’ against ‘mums and dads’.

Berwick looked out at the audience. ‘All those under 18 raise your hands’. Two hands went up. ‘Hmm, I think you’re going to stuggle’. Of course it was a draw, as it always is.
As always, we had our script as the audience, and were pretty much on cue. There’s definitely a Eurovision fan in there somewhere, as I suddenly realised that the main love song was in fact this year’s winning song from Norway.

Despite being on the second row of the Stalls I didn’t get a Wagon Wheel. Next year they’re doing Robinson Crusoe. As Berwick said, 'if you do Jack and the Beanstalk, you pretty much have to have a beanstalk, and a cow', and he likes to take a title and see where it goes.

* I think I’ve missed about 5 of them, the first 3, and *ahem*, those in 2004 and 2005 when I was otherwise engaged.

Labels: ,

Monday, February 01, 2010

Theatre at last

For a while, I've felt like a Theatre Snob who doesn't actually see any theatre, as, until a week ago, I haven't been to see anything since early November. Yes, December was theatre-less. Shocking, I know, and not acceptable. I must do better. It was therefore a relief to finally go to see The Misanthrope in London last weekend.

‘She’s too thin, it’s distracting’, is the verdict of half of our party on Keira Knightley, who is the principal reason that we had to pay full price for our seats. And she really is as skinny as they say. Her costumes emphasise this, to then extent that you want to tell her to go and have a plate of chips. She isn’t our principal reason for going, however. That would be Dominic Rowan, and Damian Lewis.

Of course, I’m interested to see what she makes of her first stage appearance, and she is fine. Not startling, not great, but fine, in the role of a Hollywood actress embroiled in the celebrity circuit, which is a good choice for her. Martin Crimp’s modern adaptation is in verse, and the rhythm of the lines occasionally catches her out. She’s in the midst of experienced stage actors who, in the main, handle it much better, though initially I’m a bit worried about Damian Lewis’s diction.

Most of the characters in the play are manipulative and cynical. Whilst I can see why it seems a good idea to update it, I’m thinking it would probably have worked better in its original 17th Century setting. In the second act, I’m proved right, as an excuse is found for a 17th Century costume party, and in the last scene the play fizzes with a life it didn’t have before. The costumes are fabulous. Keira actually looks better in period costume, as the dress disguises something of her extreme skinniness. She does lack a 17th Century bosom though*.

I like the performances of Dominic Rowan as Alceste's best friend (and the most sympathetic character), and Tara Fitzgerald as an acting coach. I find I can't blame Alceste when he storms out on the lot of them. The cast is a strong one, but occasionally I feel they're having to work really hard to cover some of the cracks in the play.

*No amount of ‘hoicking your boobs up’, which used to be my instruction to customers in costume hire, would work here.

Labels: ,

The diet starts again

Each year I start my diet again on 1 February, as every year I have put weight back on. Starting on 1 January is far too much of a cliché, and there is always lots of Christmas food, and chocs, and biscuits still to eat up. January is also usually far too busy to think of dieting.

Last year, I managed to lose 1st 4lbs by the summer, but since then I’ve gradually put it back on, so I’m starting only half a stone down from where I started this time last year. I’m also thinking this year is going to be a struggle, as I have holidays booked much earlier. I’m away for a few days in a couple of week’s time, and then am going to Egypt at the end of March.

That’s my first real target, for I need to lose at least half a stone before Egypt, so that some of the clothes I have bought look good, rather than tight. I like to have a dress to ‘slim in’ to, and this year I bought a couple of lovely dresses in the sales which are at the moment, frankly a bit ‘snug’.

As before, I’ll keep you updated on here. Only, as you’ll have noticed, once the diet tails off, I do tend to stop talking about it.

Labels: ,