All Kinds of Everything

It’s been three years since we last had a proper Eurovision Party. But this year, we were making up for lost time. We dug out the flags, from Eurovision, and Eurobeat (I found my Ireland badge, and wore it proudly), with my Royal Wedding bunting used as additional decoration.

The big challenge is how many different countries we can represent in the food. Germany, this year’s host, was relatively easy, with meats, cheeses, and a black forest gateau, and we were pleased to welcome back Italy this year (as it had never left our menu), along with Spain, Greece, Turkey (always the baklava), Norway, France, Ireland, Poland, The Netherlands, Portugal, and Malta (the Malteasers).

This time, we even had a YouTube Playlist of Eurovision classics, set up by Cat to watch whilst getting ready for the main event. Particular highlights were songs from Eurovision 2004; Ruslana and the winning, Wild Dances, the lovely Sakis Rouvas (‘still think he should have won’), and of course, Hold On To Our Love (awww, James).

Having decided that any ‘reveal’, i.e. the removal of an article of clothing, ideally ripped off in a dramatic fashion in the style of Bucks Fizz, would be awarded an additional bonus point, we were disappointed that none of the finalists took advantage of this vote winning tactic this year.

The first few songs were rather dull, gaining very low scores from us, but we are, admittedly, harsh markers. Our winners of the night were undoubtedly Jedward. Utterly bonkers, and well deserved of douze points from us, and from the UK. They came in 8th, three places higher than Blue, who still managed a creditable 100 points.

As for the winners, well, in our marking we had Ireland, followed by Russia and Spain, but the contest winners were Azerbaijan, with Italy in a rather surprising second place.

None of us has really rated the Azerbaijan song, and it did have us reaching for the Atlas a) to check out it was actually in Europe*, and b) to see where we’ll be going next year. Apparently their culinary specialty is soup, and fish, and caviar. Hmm, I can see next year being a bit of a challenge!

*Given it borders the Caspian Sea, and Iran, the answer to that one is ‘only just’.

What's another year?

This year, I wasn’t at home to watch Eurovision. I know, shocking, isn’t!

When I’d arranged a date for a meal for a group of friends, it was so far in advance that I didn’t think to check the date. You think I’d know that Eurovision is always mid-May*. And for the first time since 2005, we didn’t have a party.

I sort of made up for it by watching the semi finals, which meant I had seen most of the entries. It wasn’t the same as seeing it live on the night, but as I intermittently tried to follow the proceedings via Twitter comments from Cat and Coza, it helped. It was very intermittent, as I was in a Chinese restaurant (I know, I wasn’t even eating Eurovision), which had very hit and miss reception.

I was, of course, supporting the beautiful and uber-camp, Sakis from Greece. As you know, we met him in Istanbul. Norway was apparently the favourite, though I didn’t find the song, or the singer, that great. Anyhow, apparently it was a runaway winner.

This bigger talking point, however, was that the UK came 5th**. Amazing, for a song that belongs in a (not a terribly good) West End show. I guess all that promo worked.

I did miss the chance to eat random food from all over Europe, and to score all the songs on their Eurovision-ness, though. Hopefully next year, for Oslo.

*I know this wouldn’t be a significant date in most people’s calendars, but it is in mine.
**Yes, I was a bit sad that Foxy’s total has now been overtaken

Eurobeat revisited

Once we knew that Eurobeat was transferring to the West End, we simply had to go again, and take Corinne with us.

This time, I decided to be Irish for the evening, Cat opted for the UK, and Corinne chose Sweden (‘it’s the closest they have to Norway’). We got our badges and bought our flags, and I resisted the cd. Once we took our seats, I seemed to be in a bit of a Scandanavian enclave, as I was surrounded by Swedes.

The theatre was pretty full, and judging by the noise, everyone was ready to have a good time. The show opened, and we found that Les Dennis was off, and Sergei was played by the chap who had been the winning Estonian contestant last time. This was good, in that we got to see a lot of him, but bad in that he was no longer singing.

As for the contestants, well, for some reason, between touring and arriving in London, Estonia has become Poland, though none of the others have changed. The new Polish contestant was good, but not as slick or as funny as before. Some acts seemed more acute in their parody a second time around – UK, Russia, Ireland, whilst others just went on too long – Iceland (greeted by boos, and the comment ‘yes, give us back our money you Icelandic b*****ds’), Germany.

This time I voted for Russia, Poland and (quite bizarrely), Hungary. And this time, Russia won. As we left the theatre, we were singing the songs. They get into your head. Just like the real thing.

Almost as if we were there

‘I feel as though I should have an inflatable daffodil!’

As the show starts, Cat’s comment sums it up really, for we are at Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision, and we’re in front row seats.

As we’d entered the theatre, we’d been asked to select a badge for our country of choice. I went for Italy*, as I’ll be there next week, Cat opted for Greece**, and Shona went for Estonia, as that’s where she is in her current novel, but felt she got a few odd looks. We then bought the flags of our adopted countries.

Before it begins, we have a video welcome from Sir Terry himself! Our lovely hosts , Sergei and Boyka*** enter, glamorously attired, and the contest begins.

Italy – first up (never a good position, I mutter), but a catchy and memorable little ditty. I cheer very loudly for my country, and wave my flag vigorously. So much so, that at one point, I nearly have Cat’s eye out.

Estonia – 3 boys in suits, though two of them don’t stay in them for long, and we realise why Shona was getting the funny looks. Very funny, very rude and I love it, my favourite of the night.

Iceland – A sub-Bjork singer and song, dressed as a glittery dalek

UK – a Jemini-esque duo (though more tuneful), complete with the Scooch head move that Cat learned last year.

Russia – a boy band in white spandex. No ice skater this time, but a song about an ice queen so it’s almost as good.

Ireland – (Johnny Logan eat your heart out), it’s every Irish ballad that won in the 90’s, complete with singalong ‘la la la’ chorus. As we all get enveloped in dry ice, I’m loving it.

Hungary – the only song in ‘original language’, complete with a performance in national dress

Greece – a homage to Sakis, in that this time the dress comes off. I cheer loudly in support of Cat’s country

Germany – German expressionism at it’s best (!) – mime, a balloon, a bell and a stuffed cat. Pretty similar to some authentic German entries.

Sweden – Abba-esque song about swapping partners. Echoes of Waterloo, but maybe the Abba tribute has been so overdone, there’s not much left to say.

Our hosts return, and tell us how to vote. It should be simple, but I’ve had wine, can’t quite cope with the fact that I’ve left my phone on in a theatre, and have been laughing too much to know what I’m doing. Eventually, with only 20 seconds left, I manage to send a text voting for Estonia, Ireland and Russia. Looking at the audience, I’m thinking that the female singers are going to have a tough time of it! We retire to the bar, more wine, and a giggle over the souvenir programme.

Returning, it’s time for the interval act, all about the wonderful country of Bosnia-Herzegovina, and the voting. We go over ‘live’ to each country, and have the usual spontaneous and witty banter.

Italy is the first to give their results. I can’t believe ‘we’ve’ given top marks to the UK, but my top three have all scored. As voting progresses, it starts to look like Hungary might be left with nul points, so when it receives some, we all cheer. The UK does much better than we ever do in reality, and comes middle table. As we get to the last results, it’s neck and neck between Russia and Estonia. It’s almost more exciting than the real thing! Finally, Estonia are announced as the winners, and the noise is deafening. This means we get a reprise! This time Toomas**** too takes his shirt off.

We leaving singing ‘Together again’, and also ‘Ti Amo’. We cross the road into Starters and Puds (an excellent concept) for a post-show supper. As we look at the wine list the waiter asks, ‘shouldn’t it be Bucks Fizz?’ We like him immediately!

*Yes, I know they left in a sulk a few years ago
**Ah, Sakis
*** Les Dennis and Mel Giedroyc, who frequently have trouble trying not to corpse
**** He has a ‘Vlog’ on the website. I recognise a lot of those stage doors!

All about the music?

In case it escaped your notice, it was Eurovision last Saturday. As tradition* dictates, we had a party, with a wonderfully random collection of food and drink from across Europe, hosted again this year by Shona.

After our trip to Krakow, both Cat and I were on a bit of a mission for Polish food. I visited the Eastern European shop I found in York, as well as Tescos, and we found Lidl in ‘Boro to be an excellent source of European delicacies. We had Swedish vodka, Pimms, and some Polish fruit juice that I found which was ‘Shrek green’.

We had our score cards, as always judging Eurovisioness as well as song, costume, performance etc. This year we had the added comments of the London jury.

Of course it was all as bizarre, and the voting as predictable, as ever. Our winners were the Latvian pirates, followed by the Ukrainian ‘Shady Lady’ and Denmark. Some were just so weird that they seemed to be an experimental theatre production. As for the actual winner, well, it made our ‘top 12’ and there is something about a performance which includes the world figure skating champion!

By that time, however we really didn’t care. We’d raised a glass to plucky little San Marino, who gave us our first point ‘bless them, they don’t know the rules’, and cheered the Irish, and it was all over for another year. Next stop Moscow – or is it? There are reports that Wogan will pull out (but then they've said that every year for the last few), and it wouldn't be the same without him. we did think he sounded a little jaded this year though.

*that’s 4 years of tradition now, since we were in Istanbul in 2004. And Foxy is still the highest scoring UK entry. It’s starting to look like a triumph.

Flying the Flag

It’s a forgone conclusion that we’ve not going to win of course, and the voting gets more and more ridiculous every year, but I did feel sorry for Scooch. But then, the Eastern Europeans, and many other countries, don’t see Eurovision as a joke like we do, and I think Flying the Flag was a bit too knowing for them. We were very glad had Malteasers though, when Malta gave us douze points!

There is a sort of perverse pleasure in the fact that, if we can’t win, no one in the last 3 years has got more points or come higher than James did – and he had the disadvantage of that blue suit. We joked that you should really have a map of Europe spread out during the voting to see who shares boarders to predict the points.

It’s still a great night. We’d arrived at Shona’s in good time, so by the time it began we had a pretty impressive buffet laid out, which featured delicacies from Greece, Turkey, Denmark, Spain, France, Germany, Sweden, Russia, Switzerland and probably others.

We had the official score cards, with our 'special' category of ‘Eurovisioness’, that certain something that means a song can only be from Eurovision. Some songs were liked; Hungary, (best song, but it scored low on ‘Eurovisioness’) Greece, Latvia, and Serbia, others (Ukraine) scored well, as they ticked all the boxes, some were forgettable; (Armenia) and some just awful; Bulgaria, Ireland (we assumed they didn’t want to win, it was so bad) and Slovenia. There was a lot of leather and corsets this year.

Well, it’s off to Belgrade next year. I was fairly happy with the winner – certainly out of the top 6 it was the only one I was happy to see win. I do think they’re going to have to change the voting one day though.

Scenes from a drama class

As we're doing line runs for our monologues (to be performed in either two weeks, or four weeks - I'm praying it's the latter!), my phone beeps. I apologise to my partner and pick it out of my bag.
'R u watching the Eurovision semis?' I text back to say I'm at drama. For the rest of the lesson I'm receiving regular updates. I look at my partner - he clearly thinks I've gone a bit mad. It doesn't help matters when I decline a trip to the pub, to go home and watch it. By the end of the evening we're looking at a host of Eastern block qualifiers, and our chances of 'nul points' seem to be getting higher.

Other people just don't seem to appreciate the wonderful craziness that is Eurovision

Eurovisioness

I can't let this weekend pass without a word about Eurovision. Ok, we sent a rubbish song this year, but this contest gets more bizarre year on year, and we haven't had a chance of winning since they let the Eastern Europeans in, so you have to enjoy it for what it is, a spectacle of the wierd and wonderful, backed by Terry Wogan's commentary, best taken with a few drinks, and a group of like minded friends. Which is exactly what I've done for the last two years, as we've had our Euro themed buffet, and wine whilst watching the show (even though Corinne didn't quite understand why she had to buy Maltesers*). It helped that it was in Greece this year, which meant meze and baklava.

Actually, every year means baklava, for two years ago, Cat and I were in Istanbul for the actual contest, watching James Fox perform in his blue suit**, waving our flags, and inflatable daffodils. I'm told if you scrutinise the video very carefully you can see our backs at the very end - you can definitely see our flags. We had a fabulous time, and you realise what a big event Eurovision is to so many countries, unlike the kitsch joke it tends to be here. We also got to meet Sakis Rouvas***in the bar afterwards. Now Sakis was one of this year's co-hosts, which brings us back to Saturday, and quite frankly he was the best thing in the show, despite the dodgy gold suit.

So, it wasn't a vintage year, although many countries scored quite highly for 'Eurovisioness' in our system, as we had ethnic dancing, skirts coming off, bizarre costume changes mid song, wind machines, and ballet dancers emerging from pianos. I was surprised with the ease with which the escapees from the armies of Mordor****(ok, actually Finland) romped to victory, though I have finally stopped ranting about them stopping the voting once Finland were announced as winners, which gave the show a very abrupt ending. I did feel very cheated at the time. Ah well, it's all over for another year, and then it's off to Helsinki.

*For Malta of course - sadly they only got 1 point
**who I may add got more points than this years entry - 16th is starting to look quite respectable
**Apart from James, he was the best thing in the show, and got douze points from the UK for ripping his shirt off. He was terribly sweet when I carried out a dare to tell him that those back in the UK loved him (and is a big star in Greece, apparently)
****with apologies to the non Lord of the Rings fans