I've got a ticket for Mecca Bingo, baby!

Yes, hard to believe isn’t it, but it’s true, I’m now a member of Mecca Bingo. With irony, of course. We’ve talked for a long time about going, given it’s at the end of J’s street, but it took a sub-Spice* trip to actually get us there.

8 of us piled in at about quarter to 7 on a Sunday evening. I think I was a bit over dressed. Nothing new there then.

‘Are any of you members?’ asked the lady on the desk, to be met with a negative. 8 bingo virgins was clearly a concept she struggled with, and she had to call for her manager.

Next thing we knew, Rob had appeared. I have to say he knew his job, and in the time it took to get us signed on, upstairs, and to the tills, he’d managed to extract £14 from each of us for an evening’s games. All we’d got for this was a ‘dabber’. He then proceeded to rattle through how the games worked. Now, I thought it was just about getting a line, and shouting. Oh no! If you don’t shout before the next number is called, you’ve lost your chance. It also seemed that you play about 5 cards at once. It all felt a bit much for my numerically challenged brain!

We found some seats at the edge of the room, and quickly discovered that bingo is not a particularly sociable activity, as you can’t chat whilst a game is being played. In fact, you can’t do much else than keep your eyes on the cards, scanning the numbers and trying to keep up. It didn’t help that one of the callers had a bit of a speech impediment**, so sometimes wasn’t very clear.

By the first break, none of us had won a thing. You’d think with 8 of us, and so many cards between us, we’d have had a bit of beginners luck, but no.

By the second break, still without success, it was starting to get old very quickly. Having had two (admittedly cheap) drinks, I was starting to think about what else I could have bought with my £20. I would never make a gambler, as I hate not getting anything back for my money.

By the end of the evening, not one of us had won a thing. I think you can assume we won’t be rushing back, even though my membership card has now arrived in the post!

* I tend to refer to them as ‘subversive Spice’, so this is their new name on here
**You’d think clear speech would be part of the job spec!