Everybody Dies

I mention that I’m going to see Hamlet in Stratford.

‘What’s it about? I’ve never seen it’

I know I look a little dumbstruck. Does she really not know? How do you sum up the greatest play in the English language in a few words?

‘Well…It’s about Hamlet’. She looks at me questioningly. ‘Prince of Denmark’. Clearly this means nothing, so I begin.

‘Hamlet’s father has died. He’s a student and he’s come back from Uni. His uncle has become king, and married his mother. He sees the ghost of his father on the battlements and he tells Hamlet he was murdered by his uncle’.

‘And was he?’

‘Yes, but at first Hamlet isn’t sure, so he pretends to be mad and tried to trap him. When the players come to court, he asks them to perform a play that’s like the murder of his father, to see his reaction. Claudius (that’s the king), does react, and Hamlet goes to kill him, but doesn’t, and is banished. Oh, and the girl Hamlet loves goes mad and kills herself because he rejected her and killed her father, and her brother comes back and challenges Hamlet to a duel, and everybody dies!’

‘Oh! So, it’s not a barrel of laughs then!’