Theatrical one-upmanship

I haven’t done much acting for a while, and I really miss it, so, when K told me that they were looking for people for a rehearsed reading of a new play, I jumped at the chance.

So, I go along on Saturday morning, having had the script sent to me last week. I was worried when I saw the level of detail in the stage directions*. Apart from K, I have no idea who is going to be in it.

I get myself a coffee and wait, trying to spot others clutching scripts. Eventually I spot a chap I think I recognise, and correctly identify him as the writer (and director) of the piece.

As we wait for people to arrive, we sit in the coffee bar. A number of them know each other, from a local acting group. There’s R, Shakespearean Actor, who has just played Leontes, and is full of the fact that he’s got an agent, Opera Man, and A, a student. I know R from the Mystery Plays, but I think initially she’s struggling to remember me.

A has just finished an MA in English and Drama, carries a copy of her thesis in her bag, and therefore knows everything there is to know about theatre, asks R, ‘what have you done?’ Shakespearean actor laughs ‘what hasn’t she done!’ Opera Man tells us that he’ll have to dash out at some point, to do promo shots for ‘Yeoman of the Guard’. Everyone is swapping theatrical CVs, of all the plays they’ve done, and what productions they’ve seen. Opera Man tells me of a group he works with, and I make the fatal comment ‘oh, they used to be good!’ ‘They’re still good!’ He replies.

I realise I’m not very good at this game, mainly because I don’t want to be, and it all strikes me as a little ridiculous. R asks me, ‘So, what have you done recently?’, and I know that this isn’t the time to tell them about my evening class! I mutter something about being busy with work.

All the time, I’m wondering what I’ve let myself in for.

*Examples being to say a line 'Russianly' and 'un-Russianly'