You can see why I don't get invited to many dinner parties

At one of my workplaces, we have a regular feature of working lunches. I’ve learned over the years to take my own, as otherwise it just gets complicated. But as I’m fairly new here, they’re trying hard.

They understand that I don’t eat pre-made sandwiches (all that butter, mayo, or other random stuff I don’t like), so they attempt to provide me with salad. So, again, no mayo, no vinaigrette, but then also no onion, tomato, cucumber…the list continues.

This week I was offered a salad. Crayfish and rice. ‘Ah, sorry, don’t eat shellfish’. ‘How about this one?’ (it’s bacon, avocado and spinach) ‘Ok’.

A little dubious, I start to take it apart. M&S have helpfully put the various bits in separate packets, so it’s a DIY salad. Bacon bits, no, don’t want those, vinaigrette, no thanks, tomatoes, well, I can leave those at the bottom of the dish. I’m munching my way through avocado and spinach, helped down by a handful of crisps. It’s not the most appetising lunch I’ve ever had, so I soon give up.

Afterwards I’m asked ‘wasn’t it any good?’ and try to explain that I’m just, well, difficult, and awkward. ‘Can’t you ever eat in restaurants then?’ ‘Oh yes’. I can see the confusion, about what I can possibly eat.

‘You know, you really don’t have to bother’.
‘Oh, I will, I like a challenge’.

I wonder what I’ll get next time?