Confessions of a Theatre Snob

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Of course, it's all about the food

When I discovered that there was a food festival on in Hull, and the lovely James Martin was appearing, I mentioned it to Cat. So it was no surprise that Saturday found us baking…in the sunshine, as we watched cookery demos. It was like Saturday Kitchen, with smell-o-vision.

Now, I’ve always been pretty disparaging about Hull, but I was very pleasantly surprised at the centre, but then it’s a long time since I’ve been anywhere other than the theatre (and the pub next door).

There are some fab cafes by the water, and we found the ‘old town’ which was quite lovely, and we discovered the Land of Green Ginger! We even found time for shopping (but then, we usually do).

Of course, we also found James. He was on stage a lot! Judging an omelette cooking comp (they all looked pretty inedible to me, and it was noticeable he didn’t taste many of them), spinning sugar. I tried to encourage Cat to get up on stage when they wanted someone from the crowd, but she didn’t think it was the best way to meet him!

Later on as we watched a competition for the top cocktail maker/bartender, we found ourselves at the railings in front of the stage. James was due back on stage shortly. I commented that it had been a while since we’d been at the front for anyone, and it was pretty clear we weren’t going anywhere despite the baking sun and, in my case, the lack of sun cream. So, we watched his final demo, and we got to nibble on his honeycomb (which was yummy!)

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Edinburgh - the shows

We had two days. If you count them, 34 hours. We fitted a lot in. The Assembly Rooms, unvisited last year, are a fab venue, and became, along with the Pleasance, my favourite.

Sherlock Holmes – Murder in the Garden – Frantic Redhead productions***

We’d seen this company last year doing a walking play. I think you got less exercise with this one, though there were quite a few steps. Some of us got there a little late, as we were stuck in the Box Office queue, and had to be ‘talked in’ by Cat. A fun way to start.

Dai (Enough) – Iris Bahr****

A one woman show by Iris Bahr, set in a Tel Aviv café just before a suicide bomber enters (not as depressing a piece as it sounds). A tour de force, as she performed all the characters. She inhabited each character, and all seemed entirely different and the end of each story was profoundly shocking, even though you were expecting it. She’s been nominated for a Stage award for it.

Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf – Toby Hadoke***

Not nearly as nerdy as it sounds, and one I really wanted to see. It was about growing up really. If Toby has the ‘Rainman gene’ then so do I, as I also know the names of bit part actors from ‘old’ Who. And that was what it was mainly about, the Who you remember from your childhood, not ‘new’ Who, other than discussing feelings about it returning, and a very familiar reaction to some casting decisions (Billie Piper!!, and now, Catherine Tate!!!).

A Tale of Two Cities**

Not quite what it was sold as, which was a bit of a spoof. They actually played it pretty straight but there were a number of anachronisms. They made a feature of Sydney Carton looking nothing like Charles Darnay, but then proceeded to do nothing with it. The best actress played a bit part at the end. The best I can say is that the whole cast attacked it with gusto.

Simon Amstell – No Self****

If how much has stuck in the memory is a reflection of how good a show is, then this was very good indeed. I now can’t look at an Innocent Smoothie, or Justin Lee Collins without thinking of this show. Or indeed, at holiday photos.

Mark Watson’s 24 Hours to save the planet

We were only there for the start of this, on the Royal Mile at midnight – just outside our apartment actually – so I can’t really rate it. Watson is a bit of a Fringe legend, and he was about to set off on a 24 hour marathon – apparently at one point they ended up planting trees. Part of the group were last seen doing a conga up the Royal Mile. Definitely one to do if you have the time.

Shakespeare for Breakfast***

Another one we’d seen last year. Whilst I don’t think this year was quite as good, it was fun, and had some good performances, and we got coffee and croissants.

Phill Jupitus reads Dickens***

He’d never read any Dickens before the Fringe, and by last Tuesday he’d read 10 hours. He was very funny, though we did strike a little unlucky in that we got the opening chapter of Martin Chuzzlewit, which clearly wasn’t Dickens’s finest hour. However, we learned a new word, ‘consanguinity’, and a rhyme.

Love Labour’s Won – Rogue Shakespeare Company***

I have to admit I was flagging a bit by this point, and the room was incredibly hot, but it was well performed, by a talented cast with great costumes. And they gave you free chocolate.

Idiots of Ants****

Comedy sketch show – and they gave you free water (much needed in a tiny sweaty venue) jelly beans and a badge. Great fun and clever as well. I think they’ll go far. If you ask nicely, they'll give you a nickname.

My favourites were Dai, Simon Amstell and Idiots of Ants. We didn’t see any absolute stinkers, and overall, I think the shows were better than last years, as we’d done more research and planning. But you don’t need to, you can just go with the flow. It was exhausting, as we often had only half an hour between shows, but at least there were no crazy dashes the length of Princes Street like last year.

We stayed out drinking till about 2am, we ate Thai food, and Turkish food, and hardly heard any Scottish voices. In fact that was one of the things that struck me after I came home, the lack of Scots.

Even now a week on, reviews are just emerging of other things I’d like to have seen. You don’t really get a flavour of what there is until you’re there, so may be the trick is, like Cat, to go twice. I wish we’d had longer in our apartment, I wish I’d managed to see the show done by the group I used to work with, I wish…, I wish…

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Culinary skills

Please don't judge me by what I'm about to relate. You see, I broke my tin opener the other day.

Now, despite what you may think, I don't live out of tins, but sometimes they are essential. Easy enough to get another one, you have thought. Not when it's a Sunday.

You see, I'd decided to have one of my 'made up' curries. This involves a tin of sauce 'cos, you know, the jars you get tend to have pieces of things like (yuk) onion in them! It would also involve some tinned veggies. So, I collected all the ingredients, and went to find a tin opener. There weren't any. Oh yes, they were supposed to have two types, but they didn't have any. Clearly there had been some sort of tin opening related crisis in York this weekend.

Hmm, what to do? Yes, I could have bought something else, but my brain doesn't work like that. For some reason, I ended up in B&Q 5 minutes before it closed. I'm not sure why I thought a DIY store would have a tin opener, but I did, and it didn't.

I arrived home with ingredients, but no way of getting into them. And, by this time I was hungry. Time to raid the cupboard. I found a sachet of marinade, and decided that would do.

So, pork, potatoes, green beans, and marinade all ended up in the pot together. It tasted surprisingly nice!

And, today, I still need to find that tin opener.

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Things I learned from the Edinburgh Fringe



No longer a novice, this years list is as follows:

· That the Fringe brings on Stendahl’s Syndrome even more than Florence.

· That layers are essential clothing in the summer that we’re having, and the pashmina and comfy shoes remain an essential part of a Fringe wardrobe

· The Pleasance Courtyard is the best place for celeb spotting – I clocked a Kaiser Chief (the one who talks, but isn’t Ricky), Jenny Éclair, and Mark Watson

· People will always oversell their shows. I was warned at the box office that Love Labour’s Won contained mild language and nudity. The nudity was unnecessary, and the language very mild for someone who’d seen Simon Amstell

· A bit of BBC promo works wonders. My choices were guided by last week’s Edinburgh Show on BBC2. I saw 3 shows that had been featured. Dai, Idiots of Ants and Phill Jupitus reads Dickens

· Not to be afraid of long sentences. It was good enough for Dickens so it’s good enough for me.

· The rain drives the flier-ers inside, and means there is a lack of cute guys around

· That its difficult to achieve consensus on what to see with 4 people, especially if I’m one of them

· That fliers made like fans are very useful in a hot venue

· That no matter how many shows, there will always be time for shopping

· That it’s pointless joining a long ticket queue when some venues provide free internet access and you can book on line, and just pick up your tickets at the venue. Sadly, I discovered this too late for it to be very effective.

· That staying on the Royal Mile is an excellent idea, as you’re in the heart of everything


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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Over indulgence

I’m on my second glass of wine when the tiredness hits me. I’m on my way home, and it’s been intense. 10 shows in two days at the Edinburgh Fringe, and we still had time to eat, and shop. But now, I’m shattered.

As the train travels very slowly towards York, I’m too tired to even think about what I’ve seen. The time to assimilate it all will come later. At the moment, I’m in a happy haze of cultural overload. I sit and doze, and random images from things I’ve seen, and phrases I’ve heard run through my mind. As I disembark at the station, I drag my case behind me. It bumps noisily down the steps as I can’t be bothered to pick it up. I murmur an incoherent farewell to two of my fellow culture vultures, and stumble into a taxi.

Home brings reality, post lies on the mat, and the cats are demanding food. Lovely as it is to be home, I want to remain in the world where I can live like this for more than just a couple of days in August.

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Sunday, August 12, 2007

Holiday mood

I am on holiday. This next week, I am off work. All week. Although I’m not going away for more than a couple of days, suddenly I found myself in a holiday mindset. And to me, this means one thing. Spending money.

Now I know that I have quite enough clothes, in quite enough different sizes, that really I needn’t buy anything for a few years. But when I’m asked in Monsoon if my very pretty (and bargainous) skirt is for anything special, I say no, it’s just because I like it. It’s reason enough.

As I emerge from Monsoon, I recall a conversation with J that I’d really like a new camera. I cross the road into Currys, and they have the one that I’d seen two days earlier, only it’s cheaper here. It seems like a sign. I exit from the shop grinning, with my new camera in its posh little box. I have to go for a coffee. In an exchange of texts, Cat quizzes me ‘haven’t you got enough cameras already?’ I rationalise that while I have 3 perfectly adequate cameras (if you include the phone) this one serves a different purpose. It’s handbag sized, so perfect for just carrying around.

I can’t wait to use it this next week!

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Friday, August 10, 2007

So, this is the Forest of Arden?

Well, actually it’s Kirkstall Abbey and it’s the British Shakespeare Company’s* production of As You Like It. Finally this week we have the weather to make open air theatre seem like a good idea. Though I have to admit the BSC’s version of ‘open air’ is much to my liking, as it involves cover for the audience, but not for the actors. The playing area is the grass in the Cloisters, and as I walk in I can’t help but think back to the Brideshead picnic. No champagne this time, though I do get myself a white wine, which I sip through the first half.

It’s a bit late starting as there are a few stragglers. When Rosalind and Celia enter, I notice that Celia’s dress is in desperate need of some maintenance, as there’s a big rip in the hem. It distracts me, as I keep thinking she’ll put her foot through it. It’s a relief when she changes into her ‘peasant’ dress. I like Rosalind, though she does do a lot of arm waving, I’m less keen on Celia. I think she’s trying for ‘feisty’ but it’s coming across as a bit bolshy, and she’s not my Celia. The wrestling scene is suitable hammed up and entertaining. Orlando is played by ‘Martin Fowler’ from East Enders, and he’s not bad. If that sounds like faint praise, it’s because I wasn’t expecting much.

We get to the Forest of Arden – the set is a couple of tents, some bales of straw and a few saplings in tubs, but effective – and Jacques launches in to ‘All the Worlds a Stage’. I love this speech, and as I say to Corinne later, I also love the fact that Shakespeare writes some of his best poetry simply to cover an entrance. Or, as in the last Act, the degrees of the lie is there to provide time for Rosalind and Celia to get changed. I like to think that Will worked out how much time was needed and wrote to order.

There are no great flashes of inspiration in the production, but its fun, and pleasant and the audience are enjoying it. I have a wander round at half time to stretch my legs, and feel for Corinne who’s dashing around behind what passes for the bar.

In Act 2, I begin to wonder why the peasant characters have turned Irish, but I do love Rosalind’s speeches to Orlando when she’s in disguise. Very soon, it’s over, and the audience misses their cue for applause as the actors begin to take their bows. Finally, it ends with fireworks exploding into the night sky.

*It always amuses me how different companies keep finding something to put in front of ‘Shakespeare. I’ve seen the RSC, the English Shakespeare Company, even the Reduced Shakespeare Company

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

A Summer Interlude

It seems that summer finally arrived this weekend, to coincide with the visit to York of old friends, so I turned into a tourist in my own city. J grew up here, and has been back many times, so didn’t need a guide, but somehow, I seemed to turn into one, spouting bits of trivia as we walked round.

It’s amazing how walking slowly round, and actually taking in the sights, rather than dashing from shop to shop and cursing the tourists really makes you see the city with fresh eyes and appreciate just how beautiful, historic and extraordinary York is.

History is all around you here. You look up at the Minster, and it’s incredible to think it’s stood here for over 500 years. In my mind, no other cathedral comes close. We posed by the statue of Constantine, who was proclaimed Roman Emperor in the city, and walked down Stonegate, which was the main street of the Roman city. We popped down some snickleways, past Barley Hall, which they’d never seen before, and walked down by the river. The sun was shining, boats were going past, and we stopped for a while at a favourite café that serves Belgian pancakes and waffles. I felt like I was on holiday, and it was heaven. There are definitely worse places to live.

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

The Handbag Walks, Part 7 or Two Get Lost in Yorkshire



I think I should have known when we couldn't even find the first footpath that this was going to be one of 'those' walks. 'Interesting', a bit of an 'adventure'. I'm not sure we'd have found the path if V hadn't realised that she'd left her camera in the car and we were walking back for it. As we walked along, a car pulled up, and the driver offered us a lift. Clearly we don't look like serious walkers!

We were doing a walk out of an AA book, so you'd thing the directions would be pretty good. Not so. Of course, as always, we'd set off without an OS map, but I did have water and sun cream. I'm improving in that respect. I think the first clue that these were going to be 'creative' directions came when we hit a furrowed field, and were told to strike diagonally across it between two oak trees. Now, I have a little problem with trees as directional aids. There is a chance that they won't be there, or, as in this case, that the farmer has ploughed up the field and you can't tell which tree you're supposed to be aiming for.

Having succesfully navigated this, we found ourselves on a long and dusty track, looking for a crossing of a stream.

'I think that's a stream, not just a ditch, do you think it's a stream?'
'I think it's a ditch'

Hmmm, we crossed it, and then had to find a stile. No sign. Eventually we worked out where we thought it should be, and crossed the corner of a field, to find it hidden in the wood.

Back on our route, we headed across a field towards some farm buildings, which we were supposed to pass. As we approached we spotted the flaw in the plan. There was an electic fence across our path, and also a ditch. We spotted a bridge. It was the other side of the electric fence, and covered with nettles, clearly not used for some time. Summoning up all my farming knowledge I listened.
'I don't think it's on, it's not buzzing...it's only on if its buzzing...I think.'

I scrambled over, but then I have longer legs than V. She made it though, and we were soon over the bridge and into the field, trying to pick up on our route.

We hit a farm track, and tried and work out where we were. There was supposed to be a willow tree, but I couldn't see one. Finally, we had to trust to our sense of direction and decide which track to follow, just because it 'felt right'. Thankfully, it was right, and we eventually found our way back to somewhere we recognised.

While all of this was going on, we were getting hungrier, as we hadn't had the traditional coffee stop before we set off. So it was two very hungry and thirsty people who hit the pub just before two o'clock.

You can't say our walks aren't different!

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